by Chris Devers

Article by Gabrielschm

Funny quotes about life – I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

Funny quotes – Would be Philosophers distilling the meaning of life into one witty sentence. Lots of famous quotes, witty sayings, humorous observations and the meaning of life, just kidding.

All people smile in the same language.

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

Funny quotes about life – Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. – Timothy Bentley

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.

In this house we only serve “fine wines” Did you bring any?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself!

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better. – George Santayana

Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass.

It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

You go for it. All the stops are out. Caution is to the wind, and you’re battling with everything you have. That’s the real fun of the game. – Dan Dierdorf

Wine is the answer. What was the question?

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you’ve just made a down payment on a house.

Quotes about life – Thoughts, positive or negative, grow stronger when fertilized with constant repetition.

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.

About the Author

Funny quotes about life – The best place that will make you smile with these really Funny quotes about life and reminds you that Funny quotes about life are important.

by arthit

Article by Gabrielschm

Funny quotes about life – When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Funny quotes about life – Someone has rightly said, “A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer” No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

It has been said of the world’s history hitherto that might makes right. It is for us and for our time to reverse the maxim, and to say that right makes might.

“People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.”

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.

Funny quotes – The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities.

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

Funny quotes about life – I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.

Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Work as if you have no money. Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last.

Quotes – There is a certain poignancy in the death of persons who are talented and show tremendous promise but are denied their full role in life by destiny

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Funny quotes about life – The best place that will make you smile with these really Funny quotes about life and reminds you that Funny quotes about life are important.

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by emdot

A life insurance broker named Steve was always the top salesman for his company. In fact, he just completed his 8th straight year as the number 1 insurance agent when he decided it was time to hang ‘em up and retire.

His best friend and partner James took him out for a drink one last time – on company time, of course. James asked, “Steve, you’re the best life insurance agent I’ve ever seen. For the past 8 years, you’ve been outselling everyone. And every time I ask how you do it, you never tell me. Now that you are retiring, let me in on your secret. How do you sell so many life insurance plans?”

Steve thought for a moment. “You know what, James, you’re right. I do have a secret to selling life insurance. I’ve kept it to myself for all these years. But now that I am retiring, I can’t think of a better person to keep it alive than you. So, I will tell you how I do it.”

James started to get more excited as the thought of having this wonderful knowledge coursed through his mind. He could hardly contain himself.

”Tell me, Steve. What is it? I’m dying to know.”

Steve took a sip from his drink and leaned back on his chair, scanning his surroundings to ensure that this top-secret data would not fall into enemy hands. He then leaned forward and began to speak.

”James, when you first start, you have to tell them about all the features and the benefits of the plan. Make sure you tell him – and always him – that it is his duty as the man of the house to protect his family. Doing otherwise would be considered a failure as a husband and as a father.”

James seemed unimpressed. “Everyone does that, Steve. You know that. That isn’t very insightful.”

Steve did not seem concerned with James’ protest. “Easy, relax. Just listen to me, and it will all become clear.” Steve took another sip while James sat both anxious and nervous.

”Now,” Steve continued, “during every presentation, I always suddenly stop my pitch and ask the client if he is feeling OK. Inevitably, he will always answer ‘yes’ to that question. When he does, I look at him in a strange way. And every so often, I will ask if there is anything I can do for him. Maybe get him a glass of water or if he wants a moment to himself.”

”Interesting approach” replied James. “How effective is it?”

Steve looked around and then looked James square in the eye. “To be honest, it rarely works. But, it’s the next step which always hooks them.”

James could no longer take it. “Steve, please tell me!”

Steve smiled. “I always say: ‘Please don’t let me scare you into making a rushed choice. Sleep on it tonight. IF you should wake up in the morning, please give me a call and let me know. I’ll by DYING to hear from you.”

Dan Wilson of Semisonic performs “Closing Time” at his 25th reunion at Harvard’s Sanders Theatre. Before and during the tune he tells a funny story about what the song really means. He won a Grammy for the song in 1999. Dan and I both lived in Dunster House, and we were lead singers in rival bands (Animal Dance and the Standard Deviants).
Video Rating: 4 / 5

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by Kansir

Once, I was a teenager just like you. Like you, I have experienced the joys and the sorrows of being one. I have made friends, build relationships and make some enemies along the way. I have been to various places and tasted a life that I never felt I could own, but there I was, living my dream. Though I may be fulfilled at some areas in life, I cannot say that I’m totally happy about it. Yes, I was once a teenager but unlike you, I am not into modern technologies. I want to make my life uncomplicated. I have simple taste in food, music, books or even in movies I see. I do not burden myself with things I don’t understand. I am not into the technical details of things. It even took me awhile to get used to my new cellphone and I never even tried to enter any chat rooms in the internet.

When the free online games like RPGs or role-playing games became a fad in the office, just like the social networking sites, I don’t want to be a part of it. But my officemates kept on ranting and raving about it that I had to see what really the fuss is. And in time, I became hooked just like the rest of them. Even besting the best of them in any high score games. I’m proud to say I’m a late bloomer when it comes to these things.

While watching movies took the best half of my day off, I find myself watching movie trailers that I never got to see. There are movie dates that I have to forego because I don’t want to miss a day in my virtual world. Because you see, I have a life there. I am now settling for an afternoon movie date with my couch with a movie that was shown ages ago.

While taking photos is my passion, I had missed the photo contest that I have been aiming for, for years. Years of hard work gone to waste. I will be lucky to be included in any video contest at the rate my life is going. This has been the subject of funny jokes in the office for some time.

Some college students interviewed me regarding my work and I can say that it went well. It is nice to see some young people getting out there to prove themselves. I have decided since seeing them that I will not waste my time away with trivial pursuits. I will enjoy life at its simplest and decided to be technology-free for just a weekend. I can say I survived it because I have tons of books to read that I had left behind when I transferred to my virtual world. I took my dog for a walk in the park and watched some young people play. A high school student approached me and we began to chat. I learned from him what teenagers nowadays do for their leisure. He said that he is still into kids’ games like cards and puzzles, checks out the free online chat to send his friends some messages, download free music or upload funny videos and he loves playing sudoku. I’ve realized how complicated my life is compared to him.

by LZ Creations

Top 7 Tips to Bring More Humor Into your Life

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Top 7 Tips to Bring More Humor Into your Life

By: Raymond Lee
Posted: Jan 29, 2008
Views: 108

Why don’t we laugh more often? Mainly because we have learned not to. Parents and teachers spend a good deal of time telling children, “ Wipe that smile off your face”; “Get serious”; “Settle down”; and “Stop acting silly.” In addition, laughter requires both spontaneity and surrender of control. As people become adults, they place a good deal of value on self-control and often feel ambivalent about spontaneity. But a mature adult should also understand the need for levity now and then. When Steven Spielberg was filming the holocaust movie Schindler’s list, he became so saddened by his subject that a few times a week while on location in Poland, he called comedian Robin Williams and asked him to run through some stand-up routines. If you have a particularly funny friend, you might do the same, but if not, tickle your funny bone with the help of these tips and suggestions.

1. Encourage Laughter

Encourage others to laugh. Mirth is contagious.

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2. Look Out For Absurdities

Keep an eye out for the absurdities of everyday of your life. Amusing quips and situations happen all the time. If you look for them, you will find them.

3. Give Gifts

Instead of flowers or food, give sick friends humorous gifts. Try a joke book, a comedy video or a few gag items.

4. Know Your Audience

Humor is individual. Psychology Today magazine once published 30 jokes and asked readers if they found them funny. More than 140,000 readers from all over the map replied. Every joke was rated “very funny” by some readers and “not all funny” by others. In the words of comedian Henny Youngman, “ Humor is a form of communication understood by some and misunderstood by most.”

5. Develop A Humor First-Aid Kit

Keep a funny book or tape close at hand and dip into it several times a day. Wear humorous buttons and post cartoons, amusing bumper stickers and other witty items where you live, work and play.

6. Laugh At Yourself

Those without a sense of humor, once quipped, can be very funny. Of course, they do not mean to be, and when people begin laughing, those who are unintentionally funny may become embarrassed, self-conscious or insulted. If this happens to you, try to step outside yourself and see your gaffe the way your audience sees it. Laugh at yourself and people laugh with you, not at you.

7. Keep It Tasteful

Do not poke fun at anyone’s race, ethnic group, gender, weight, occupation or anything else that might be offensive. Also avoid sarcasm and ridicule. If there has to be a butt of the joke, target yourself or some inanimate object.

Raymond Lee – About the Author:

Raymond Lee is one of the foremost experts in the health and fitness industry and is the Founder of Bodyfixes Group specializing in body health, muscle development and dieting. He is currently the author of the latest edition of “Neck Exercises and Workouts.” Visit http://www.bodyfixes.com for more information.

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by Chris Pirillo

Fun Pics A Way Of Life

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Fun Pics A Way Of Life

By: onlyfunnypics
Posted: Apr 14, 2011

I love browsing the Internet for some really funny pictures to kick-start my day. Yes, I am one of those who truly want to start my day on a positive note. Looking for funny pictures has become so much easier thanks to the Internet. Now, anyone has the ability to search for a variety of fun pics from the comforts of their home.

Why are funny pictures in demand? The reason is simple. You no longer need to pay to buy a newspaper or a magazine to see funny pictures.  Funny pics have a way to convey the message of joy and happiness and interesting scenarios captured through the camera lenses or an artist’s brush.

These days’ ,funny pictures have crossed many cultures and categories and if you search online, you will be able to find a multitude of fun pics of kids and animals and people in professions and transportation and the list can go on and on.

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Some of the funniest pictures around are of little children and animals. It is hilarious to see how the child reacts when an animal is trying to lick them or bit off their shoe! Another craze is people parking in the parking lots of suburban shopping centres. The visuals are incredibly funny.

Transportation fun pics are a big hit as well. Funny moments captured in images are priceless. One of the most popular ones is of a garbage truck precariously on the road. There is too much garbage picked up and the whole truck tips over. It is really funny. Another classic is funny pictures of grandma and grandpa sleeping and their little grandchildren playing mischief. Face painting to cutting clothing to pouring juice the list is endless but you get the idea. If you have a smile on your face, you can only imagine how funny it will be if you had the picture in front of you.

Funny pictures are also helpful in stress related situations. There comes a time in our lives that we are down and out. A few funny pictures can turn the mood around. Funny pictures have the ability to make us forget the negative things for a while and shift our focus to something fun.

For me, I have been surfing the Internet for many years and I have noticed that these days, online forums also have a fantastic variety of fun pics on offer. It is just a matter of entering a key phrase on a search engine and we are good to go. Fun pics have become a way of life for me and I look forward to seeing a new funny picture to brighten my day, week, month, year and beyond. Just get online and start exploring today. For more crazy funny pictures visit at www.onlyfunpics.com

onlyfunnypics – About the Author:

To get you started, visit my favourite funny pictures site and view the funny pictures of animal pictures I mentioned in the article.

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by Derek K. Miller

Louis William Wain was born in the London district of Clerkenwell in London on 5th. August 1860. In the period from 1880′s up to the start of the first world war he ruled supreme in cat and animal humour especially the ‘Louis Wain Cat’ which was recognised worldwide. The Louis Wain cats appeared in Art Prints, Comics, Newspapers, Books, Magazines, Post Cards and Annuals. The Wain cats are to be found in every human activity – from playing golf and other sports, digging up roads, Playing music.

In his early years he was a sickly child and often skipped school. He attended his early schooling at The Orchard Street Foundation school in Hackney and at The Saint Joseph’s Academy, Kennington.

Wain was born with a Cleft Lip and the doctor gave his parents the orders that he should not be sent to school or taught until he was ten years old. As a teenage youth, he was often truant from school, and spent much of his childhood wandering around London. Following this period, Louis studied at the West London School of Art and eventually became a teacher for a short period. At the age of 20, Wain was left to support his mother and sisters after his father’s death.

With reference to his family, Louis Wain’s father had moved to London from Leek in Staffordshire where he met Julie Felice Boiteux (Anglo-French) who attended the same Roman Catholic church. They married in 1859. He had 5 younger sisters (two of whom became competent artists) and his father worked as a textile salesman and his mother designed Church fabrics and carpets.

At the age of 17 he attempted to become a musician though no evidence of any success exists today. Louis Wain then decided to study and trained at The West London School of Art ( 1877- 1882 ) and remained as an assistant teacher until he left in 1882.

After his Father – William Wain’s death in 1880 he had to support his mother – Julie Wain and five younger sisters.

To help to support his family he became a freelance illustrator ( initially influenced by Caldecott and May ).

He began to make his name with Dog and Animal drawings at various Dog and Country Shows including the early British National Dog show at Crystal palace in 1882 ( which later became known as Crufts ).

In 1884 Louis Wain married Emily Richardson ( His youngest sister’s governess ). Shortly after he married her she contracted Breast cancer. He brought Emily a Kitten which they called Peter and to entertain her he started drawing Peter in humorous situations and poses.

She wanted him to show his cat drawings to some editors to which some comments were – ‘whoever would want to see a picture of a cat.’

The break he had been waiting for came in 1886 when he drew several kitten illustrations for a children’s book. After this, Sir William Ingram, Proprietor of the Illustrated London News, commissioned a narrative drawing of a ‘Kitten’s Christmas Party’. It contained 200 cats, took 11 days to complete and according to Wain brought him ‘overnight fame.’ With the success of his funny cat pictures they started to make his reputation here in Britain and in America where his humorous cat pictures were seen in Comics, newspapers and magazines. These pictures were so successful that his life would never be the same again. Alas, this was tinged with sadness as his wife died shortly afterwards, but knowing that Louis Wain had become a great success.

In the period from 1880′s up to the start of the first world war he ruled supreme in cat and animal humour especially the ‘Louis Wain Cat’ which was recognised worldwide. The Louis Wain cats appeared in Art Prints, Comics, Newspapers, Books, Magazines, Post Cards and Annuals. The Wain cats are to be found in every human activity – from playing golf and other sports, digging up roads, Playing music, Ascot fashions, Driving cats plus lots more.

In 1886 he joined the staff of The Illustrated London News. He was the first illustrator to work consistently within the convention of depicting clothed and standing animals.

He contributed to “Comical Customers at our Fine New Store of Comical Rhymes and Pictures” in 1896 and to “Jingles. Jokes and Funny Folks” in 1898. 1902 saw the word “Catland” commonly associated with Wain’s illustrations, and the publication of “Pa Cats, Ma Cats and their Kittens.” His anthropomorphic vision of the world soon brought him fame and as a result he was elected President of the British National Cat Club in 1898 and 1911.

In 1904 Louis Wain wrote a book entitled ‘In Animal land with Louis Wain’ which was a great success. During 1907 he invested all his savings into various Ceramic’s with pictures based on his funny cats and sent most of them to America. Alas, while crossing the Atlantic, the ship capsized and all Louis Wain ceramics went to the bottom of the sea. Due to this misfortune Louis Wain went bankrupt and decided on a temporary move to the United States. He produced strip cartoons for the New York American ( 1907-1910 ) and many other American comics, newspapers and magazines.

After the death of his mother, In 1910, he returned to England and over the next few years he continued to produce books and supply pictures to various comics, newspapers and magazines.

He continued drawing fanciful cats for various newspapers and comics near the end of the first world war. During this time in 1917 he was thinking of experimenting in animation and the film was to be called ‘Pussyfoot’. Alas, he decided not to persue this project and so the world lost the chance of a genius of comic cat art moving into animation. This year was a turning point in the history of Louis Wain’s cats. His sister Caroline died and he fell off an Omnibus and hit his head.

After he recovered from these set backs his cats became more frenzied, surreal, jagged and pointy. During 1917 he was also diagnosed as a schizophrenic which alas, stayed with him for the rest of his life. During the onset of his disease at 57, Wain continued to Paint, Draw and Sketch cats.

In 1924 due to the economic climate and the slow recovery of GB after WW1 Louis Wain Art became less popular and he fell into poverty when his mental health deteriorated and finally his family had him certified Insane and he was committed to a pauper ward at Springfield Hospital ( Previously Surrey County Asylum ) at Tooting, London on June 16th 1924. During 1925 he was discovered by a visitor to the hospital painting his funny cat pictures. The visitor exclaimed that the artist pictures reminded him of Louis Wain’s famous cats. Imagine his surprise when the Artist turned to the visitor and exclaimed he was indeed Louis Wain.  After the visitor told the world of Louis Wain’s hospitalization, his admirers started a campaign which included prime minister Ramsey Macdonald, HG Wells and King George who helped set up a foundation which was set up to enable Wain to spend the last few years of his life in comfort in private asylums including Bethlehem Hospital in a private room where his treatment continued. H. G. Wells best portrays Louis Wain when he said in a 1925 broadcast, in an attempt to raise money for the impoverished artist, that three generations had been brought up on Louis Wain’s cats and few nurseries were without his pictures. He made the cat his own. He invented a cat style, a cat society, a whole cat world. English cats that do not look and live like Louis Wain cats are ashamed of themselves.

Some time in the late 1920′s he was sent to Saint James  Fields, Southwark where he continued to paint and draw his cats.

In 1930 he was transferred to Napsbury Hospital near Saint Albans where he continued to paint and sketch until the end of his days. Exhibitions of his work were held in London in 1931 and 1937. On 4th. July Louis Wain died at Napsbury hospital. He is buried at Saint Mary’s Catholic Cemetery, Harrow Road, London NW10 ( next to Kensal Green Cemetery, London ) next to the same burial plots as his 5 sisters and parents.

He is probably best remembered through a quote from H.G. Wells “He has made the cat his own. He invented a cat style, a cat society, a whole cat world. English cats that do not look and live like Louis Wain cats are ashamed of themselves.”

Louis often gave lectures on the welfare of cats and encouraged people to take in stray cats, not just purebred cats. He was elected as President and Chairman of the National Cat Club, which he served for many years, and the logo he designed for the National Cat Club is still used to this very day. He was also involved in many other animal (mainly cat) charities and groups.

I am a collector and seller of Louis Wain 1860-1939  Funny Cats, Birds, Pigs, Owls and Dogs on Art prints, so please feel free to visit my Louis Wain website pages listed below.

http://www.fabprints.com/LW.html

My family tree has been traced back to the early Kings of England from the 7th Century AD. I am also a direct descendent of Sir Christopher Wren which has given me an interest in English History which is great fun to research.

I have recently decided to write articles on my favourite subjects: English Sports, English History, English Icons, English Discoveries and English Inventions. At present I have written over 100 articles which I call “An Englishman’s Favourite Bits Of England” in various Volumes. Please visit my fun Blogs page http://Bloggs.Resourcez.Com where I have listed all my articles to date.

Copyright © 2010 Paul Hussey. All Rights Reserved.

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